Sunday, November 8, 2009

Opinions Please!


I am so sorry I have been such a bad blogger lately! Things have been so busy. My weekend has been pretty boring with the exception of last night when I had a first date. I have been doing match.com for about two months now and to be completely honest - it has not been going as well as I had hoped. BUT, I am trying to stay positive! I know I WILL meet a great guy soon - either on match or some other way. Right? Right!

All that being said, I have a question for you lady followers out there.... Do you expect a man to pay for a meal on a first date? I'm not neutral on this - I expect a man to pick up the check on a first date and am really turned off when they don't. I know it's not politically correct, but that's the way I feel. Needless to say, the gentleman - scratch that - man I went out with last night did not pick up the check and that was one (of the many) reasons why there will be no second date for the two of us. Reason #2 is that he was home schooled and I find that a little odd.... Just curious - as independent women living in 2009, what are your thoughts? I'd love to hear them!

25 comments:

Katiellirb said...

I think a guy should definitely pick up the tab on the first date! I just asked Hubs and he agrees! I'm sorry he wasnt the right one, but you have such a fantastic attitude. Your right guy IS out there! Side note: Have you tried e-harmony? Thats how my sis met her husband!

suburban prep said...

It depends on a few circumstances.
The first being who did the asking out? If he was the one then yes he should pay. Especially on the first date. If it was just something at the last minute that came up that you went out I am not so sure.
My husband was earning less than I was at the time when we first went out and he paid. as we went along in our relationship it was 1/2 and 1/2.

Even now sometimes I pay and sometimes he pays--more often he pays because he is the one who is fortunate to have a job. Actually we do not go out to often anyway.
On 11/14 we will celebrate 11 yrs of marriage so there must have been some good qualities both of us saw in the other.

but I do have to agree with you in retrospect because I would have been taken aback if it was dutch on a first date. I have to say that I had a date like that before I met my husband and it was a future killer.

MCW said...

I was talking to my friends about match this weekend. I said it is just one more possible way to meet the man of my dreams, and if it is there then why not??? It can be hard though!

He should pay. I have always believed this and expect it.

The Niemeyer Nest said...

Yes, he should pay for the first date. Carl agrees too. He alwsys paid for dinners out and I usually bought groceries to cook once we were serious.I think I got the better end of the deal. HA!

Katiesperk said...

Maybe I am old fashioned, but I think he should pay if he asked you out. But if you did the asking then you should pay. But I totally understand that it is a turn off when they don't offer to pay!

MLD said...

I am 100% with you on this. I went on a first (and last) date over the summer and he said "I want to take you out" and when we got the restaurant, the first thing out of his mouth was "I would rather not pay for your dinner" and I was absolutely mortified. Everyone I talked to afterward agreed with me as well.

BRD said...

Yes! HE was the one one who asked ME out and still didn't pay! Grrr....

So happy to see so many of you all are on the same page as I am! Thanks for the great comments!

--DC Prep

Blackeyed_Susan said...

If he asked you out then he should pay! That is strange!

Good luck:)

Amy Lynn said...

I feel ya on the paying thing. ESPECIALLY on the first date. It's the gentleman thing to do! However, don't judge on the whole home-schooling thing. It's unique, and you don't find many people these days who were home-schooled, but my boyfriend and all of his siblings were home-schooled and they are not any different than anyone else. He is well educated, has been to college, and is a firefighter/paramedic/fire officer. If it weren't for the whole not paying thing, I would encourage you to ask him about his experience being home-schooled. It's really neat, and all parents have different techniques for teaching.

I hope you have better luck next time!!!

dreaming in pink and green said...

I definitely think a guy should pick up the tab. That would definitely turn me off as well. I remember one guy not picking up the tab and I was really offended and kind of hurt by it for some reason...odd, I know.

Amber said...

I think it is the mans duty to take care of the woman...that means picking up the check. I think it's something they should do.

Once we've gone out a few times I go with the mantra of "whoever asks, buys".

I've been on and off Match for a couple of years (spend a month on, spend 6-7 off LOL) and the only thing I have are some really great stories of horrific dates LOL

I want to meet the guy on the commercial-he's a hottie!

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Well going against the grain here but I don't expext it on the first date- esp a Match.com type date. I guess its more to do with the way I was raised though. BUT if he called you for the date (versus saying "its time we meet" sort of thing), he should pay.

I'd let the homeschool thing slide though. Well, to a degree. I think if he has a good personality, who cares if he went to school at home or in Switzerland. Now if he has some odd attachment to his mother because of it, that's a whole new ball game!

stacilynfeldman said...

first date? i think he should pay for every date until i'm satisfied that he's 'wooed' me sufficiently! haha.

Classy Fab Sarah said...

I think a man should pay but I don't think I'd flip out if he didn't. I'm too easy on men.

I just saw your comment on my blog about maybe wanting a coat from Old Navy - shoot me an e-mail so I can get your e-mail address and I'll send you a coupon to take 25% off, if you're interested!

The Preppy Pink and Green Puppy said...

The guy should so pay for everything on the first date (and second, third, etc.) even if the girl asked him out. I can't imagine how awkward it was for you when he asked for your half.

nauticalandsouthern said...

I'm all for independent women--believe me! but I think the man should always pay, regardless of who asked who out, on the first! date. If it was the fourth date I could understand but dating is about courting--and if this guy showed up for a date he should show up with his wallet.

Sarah Beth said...

He totally should have paid! I hope your next date is wonderful!

Headbands and Hand Bags said...

I say he should pay all the way!! You will find the one, or a one for now soon! Dating can be rough, so hang in there!!

Barefoot in the Park said...

i think they should def. pick up the check!

short southern momma said...

best of luck finding mr. right!! i may just be old fashioned, but i totally think the man should pay. hope your having great day!! xo

Kristin said...

I think they should pick up the tab, especially if they are the one that asked you out! Do I think that it is a rule that he pays for everything the whole relationship? No. But it's just good manners on the first date!

Sweet Caroline said...

He should definitely pay! NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!!!

prashant said...

I have always believed this and expect it.
Work from home India

Pawleys Island Posh said...

the guy should definitly pay on the first many dates! My husband and I were set up on a blind date so don't discount all your resources! Ask people you know to set you up on dates, you never know where he is.

Pawleys Island Posh

Rosalyn Kay said...

I definitely think the guy should pay!

Just started reading your blog and really enjoy it!!